THIS is me…(16)

By: Sarah Ann Walker

Staring at this woman, I'm at a complete loss. I don't know her, but she seems to know me. What the hell is she talking about? Why would she yell at me? I haven't done anything wrong yet.

“Suzanne, its Kayla. Can you see me alright? Can you try to speak to me? The feeding tube was just removed, and the doctors are waiting outside to talk to you, but I wanted to talk to you first so you weren't scared.”

What doctors? Crap! Am I in a hospital? Shit. I hate hospitals. Trying to turn my head takes forever, but eventually I see. Yup, I'm definitely in a hospital, though it looks quite nice. This room doesn't seem like a hospital room much, well, except for all the hospitally-type stuff everywhere.

“Suzanne, can you please say something. Just say hi if you can, and I'll leave you alone.”

God, my throat is killing me and I haven't even spoken yet. I know it's going to hurt more as soon as I try to speak, but she looks so happy to see me; I really should try to speak to her.

Clearing my throat, which just kills, I whisper, “hello...”

“Oh GOD Suzanne, Hi! Jesus Christ! I never that I'd be so glad to hear your voice again. How do you feel? We only have a minute here because the doctors have to talk to you and examine you, but I'm so glad to see you awake.”

Bursting into tears, the woman is just beaming at me. Jeez... Who is she? And holy annoying accent.

“Are you a nurse?” I whisper.

“Suzanne, it's me Kayla. Can't you see me?”

“Yes, I see you.”

“Suzanne, it’s New York Kayla. Remember me?”

When she looks at me so expectantly, I kind of feel bad for her but I don't think I know her though. Looking hard, I'm sure I don't know her at all actually.

“Suzanne, we're friends. I'm your very good friend Kayla Rinaldi, and I love you very much. We've known each other for a while now, and we're very close friends. Do you remember me? Do you remember Mack, and Chicago Kayla, and Z? Do you remember Marcus?” Oh!

“Where's my husband?” I kind of groan. God, my throat really is on fire.

“Marcus? Um, he's tied up at the moment. He'll be here shortly though, I'm sure. Ah, do you remember me and Mack, and Kayla? Do you remember Z?”

Isn't she Kayla? I swear she said her name was Kayla. What the hell is going on here? But before I can ask her the door pushes open and interrupts us. Turning my head slowly, I see 2 men walk into my room. Holy shit! 2 men!


I can't help my flinch. Why am I so scared suddenly? What's happening?

“Suzanne you're safe, I promise. No one will hurt you here. These doctors just need to examine you and talk to you. You've been asleep for a long time, and they have to check you out a little.”

Panicking, I quietly beg, “Please don't leave me with them. Please...”

Oh god, I can't be alone with 2 men. Why am I so scared? Shaking, I hear my teeth chatter as nausea overwhelms me. Suddenly throwing up all over myself, I can’t help it. I wasn’t able to move my body very well. But as I start panicking again at my slow movement the woman reaches for me in a tight hug.

“Suzanne, look at me. You're okay. You're safe, I promise. I'll stay here with you if you want, and Mack will be here soon. These doctors won't hurt you. They just need to run some tests, and they need to talk to you a little. I'll stay right here though if you want, I promise. Suzanne, you’re okay.”

When the woman takes my hand and rubs my back with her other hand things suddenly feel a little better. Breathing slowly, my chest isn’t as tight as it was. Closing my eyes, I even feel a little better as she holds my hand.

When I open my eyes 2 women have joined the men. Oh, thank god.

“Suzanne, please stay with us. This is Dr. Cobb and Dr. Robinson, and they've been watching over you while you slept. They won't hurt you, I promise. No one will.”

Opening my eyes, one man is leaning close to me with something in his hand. Oh god! Flinching, I close my eyes again. I can't do this! They can't do this! Why is this happening?

There's something wrong but I don't know what it is. I don't know what's wrong, but I hate it! I can feel something is wrong and I can't do this!

Please fall asleep. Please… I just need to sleep again. I don't want to know this. I don't want to feel this. I don't want any of this anymore.