The Love Resort

By: Faith Bleasdale

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The Love Resort is an exclusive, holiday resort for couples only,* on one of the most beautiful and romantic Caribbean islands. Magical and enchanting, the resort casts its special love spell on all who visit.

Set in acres of beautiful gardens, blooming with colour, and its own private beach with dove-white sands and sapphire-blue sea, it is the ultimate retreat for you and the one you love.

A luxurious spa, two freshwater swimming pools, a fitness centre and plenty of water sports are available in our all-inclusive package. We promise there will never be a dull moment. Those who simply wish to relax are invited to enjoy a number of love seats from where you can watch the mesmerising sunsets and whisper sweet nothings to your loved one.

Two gourmet restaurants cater for every palate. The beach front offers the finest seafood in a wonderfully romantic and intimate environment. The main restaurant serves food all day, and the buffets are designed to please every appetite.

Whether you are staying in our impressive hotel or in a luxury bungalow, your knowledge of each other will be fulfilled, and the ballroom will serve you with entertainment which will fan those flames of love.

One thing is guaranteed: in The Love Resort, Love blossoms.

Official Love Resort Brochure

‘I have taken my romantic novels and brought them to life, in a place where love conquers all and romance is a way of life.’

Anne-Marie Langdale, Owner, The Love Resort

*Note, in this instance a couple is two people of the opposite sex who are in a relationship.

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‘Have you seen this?’ Anne-Marie Langdale screeched at a pitch that might break glass. Ed, her husband, having just entered the office, contemplated backing out again. Lily Bailey, her PR manager, physically recoiled. ‘Well, well? Is someone going to fucking well answer me?’ Waving a magazine frantically, she stepped menacingly from behind her desk.

Anne-Marie was a contradiction. With her glossy, long blonde hair that rivalled any in a shampoo advert, and a face that housed soft, delicate features, it was amazing that the voice belonged to her. When Ed had first heard her in full cry (some time after the wedding), he thought he’d imagined it. He soon came to realise he hadn’t. Anne-Marie looked like a heroine from one of the romantic novels she was so famous for writing, but didn’t sound like one. Her heroines never shouted, and they definitely never swore, whereas Anne-Marie had a mouth like a sewer. She was tiny—just over five foot—petite but powerful, and frightening. She was wearing a floor-length pink chiffon gown, beneath which her feet were characteristically bare. This was Anne-Marie’s uniform. A uniform that represented who she wanted to be, but not who she was.

‘What is it, darling?’ Ed asked, in a deep commanding voice, the result of thousands of pounds’ worth of elocution lessons. Ed hailed from Sussex and had possessed a fairly accentless voice, but Anne-Marie had wanted to change it to the way she imagined the heroes of her novels would speak. Now he spoke effortlessly as his wife wanted, and couldn’t remember his old voice, let alone revert to it.

‘That crappy cheap magazine. The shits. The bastards. The c***s.’ She waved the magazine again before throwing it on the floor in disgust.

‘Let me see it.’ Ed threw a glance at Lily, who was rooted to the spot behind her own desk. He picked up the magazine, then led Anne-Marie to the sofa in the corner of the office and managed to get her to sit down. He then went to Lily’s desk and opened the magazine. It was the Traveller, one of the UK’s most respected travel magazines. They exchanged another look, took a deep breath, and began to read.

The Love Resort is a bizarre place. Décor-wise, it looks and feels romantic, in a relatively tasteful way. Which surprised me as Anne-Marie Langdale herself is a paragon to bad taste. On the surface she has managed to capture the essence of romance and transfer it into a tangible, saleable asset. However, the people who stay at the resort often look as if they don’t belong. It’s full of couples (most of whom are past their prime), in garish colours, who spoil the illusion of the resort. I believe that Ms Langdale’s idea was to fill the place with people who resemble characters from her own romance novels, but instead, ordinary (albeit rich) couples are allowed to step into her world for two weeks at a time.