Seeking Justice (Cowboy Justice Association Book 11)(10)By: Olivia Jaymes
Scraping his fingers through his short, dark hair, Reed swore softly under his breath. “As God as my witness, honey, I don’t care. I really don’t.”
“I don’t believe you,” Kaylee replied softly. “I saw you that day. You pulled away from me and went off on your own. You’d always talk about how we would get through this together but when it all ended you just…left me all alone. That’s when I needed you the most, Reed. You went off and I know why. You just don’t want to admit that you’re disappointed. You think it makes you look like a bad person. You’re not. You’re just human.”
Opening and closing his mouth several times, her husband appeared to be trying to speak but no words would come out. His face was red, and his hazel eyes had turned an icy grey. He was angry and frustrated.
Throwing back the covers, Reed jumped out of bed and dragged on a pair of blue jeans as he hopped to the bedroom door. She’d expected him to slam it on his way out but he didn’t, possibly out of deference to the others in the house. She could hear his footsteps down the hall, but they faded away until there was nothing but silence.
Then…and only then…did she allow the hot tears to flow.
With a head full of steam, Reed stomped downstairs and into the kitchen for a beer. Normally he wouldn’t drink but he wasn’t on guard duty tonight and frankly, he needed the alcohol. What he really wanted was a double whiskey but that was out of the question.
The maple wood floors were cold under his bare feet. He should have stopped to put on a pair of socks, but he’d been so damn mad he could barely think straight. Did the woman that he loved actually believe that having a baby was more important to him than she was? It appeared that she did.
He didn’t remember any abandoning going on, either.
Sure, he’d gone off by himself for a little while to lick his wounds. He’d be lying if he didn’t admit that he’d been caught off guard by the news and he’d been justifiably upset. The doctor had been so calm and reassuring up to that point, although with each subsequent visit the news had become grimmer and grimmer. It was only human to be depressed when you’d wanted something so badly and found out it was never going to happen. He hadn’t left her. He’d been there. He was sure of it.
He had to wonder, however, if he was pretending not to care? Was he in deep denial? Was Kaylee seeing something inside of him that he didn’t know about himself? That couldn’t be the case. He wasn’t the most introspective guy, but he’d know if he resented his wife for not being able to get pregnant.
And what kind of guy would be like that? An asshole.
I am not an asshole. I’m a good husband.
But he was well aware that when he’d met Kaylee she hadn’t been able to trust him at all. It had taken a huge leap of faith for her to believe in him and his love. He’d thought after all this time together she’d be past all of that, but just when he thought something was dead and buried it popped up out of the grave again. She hadn’t had much luck with men staying when things weren’t good. Now she believed he wanted out because everything wasn’t perfect. He didn’t know how to convince her that she was wrong.
Twisting the cap off of the beer bottle, he tossed it into the trash can and sat down at the table near the window. Mike and Jared were out there tonight, watching the perimeter while Amy took up guard inside. Reed would take his turn tomorrow. That’s why he was here. To keep Ava, Logan, and the kids safe. Not to repair his wounded marriage. That had been a hope but not a very realistic one. They both had to want it and clearly Kaylee didn’t.
Looking up from his beer, Reed was startled to see Amy standing in the kitchen doorway. She was probably just making the rounds and checking in with Mike to see if everything was okay.
“I’ve got a lot on my mind. Thought a beer might help me fall asleep.”
“Want to talk about it?”
Amy retrieved a bottle of water from the refrigerator. She was an attractive woman around her early to mid-thirties with short dark hair and big brown eyes. Tall and slim, she was in excellent shape due to the physical demands of her job. The muscles in her arms were clearly displayed by the short sleeves of her t-shirt. She gave off an air of efficiency and capability.
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