Knight:A Club Alias Novel(3)By: K.D. Robichaux
I feel a twinge of guilt. He only put the rule about therapy sessions in place to look out for our well-being. I rub the back of my neck, looking him in the eyes. “I know, Doc. But… I’m ready to share now. Actually, I have no choice but to share now.”
“I see.” He crosses his legs, placing his ankle on the opposite knee. Leaning over in his chair to place his elbow on the armrest, he rubs his beard. “Are you saying you haven’t been honest with me during the sessions you have agreed to?”
“Not at all. But our sessions have always been about how I feel about our job as mercenaries. I download everything to you after a mission. You debrief me, making sure killing all the assfucks isn’t doing any psychological damage. Or any more, rather.” I chuckle, trying to relieve some of the tension in the air.
“And this appointment isn’t about that?” Doc lifts a brow.
“Negative. This appointment is about…” I shift in my seat. I’d been in such a rush to prepare everyone for Clarice’s arrival that I never actually thought about what I’d say. Fuck. I guess I’m just going to have to be honest here. “This appointment is about Clarice. My… my best friend. Who… I’m in love with.”
The look on Doc’s face almost pulls a laugh from me. Usually, there’s no shaking the man. He stays calm, cool, and collected through some of the most trying therapy sessions with victims of terrible crimes. But right now, his eyes are bulging and his mouth gapes open.
He snaps his jaw shut and sits up in his seat, clearing his throat. “Well. Okay then.”
“I mean, I’ve never forced you to talk about anything other than the job, because you never partake in any of the club’s activities. When Seth initially had the idea to build Club Alias as a backup monetary resource in case Imperium Security didn’t do well, and we all chipped in as partners, we talked about previous relationships in our first therapy sessions. It was agreed upon by all of us that in order to be the head Dominants, we had to know for sure we were capable of handling any situation and nothing from our past would get in the way of that,” he reminds me.
“And I was honest back then. I told you about the only two relationships even worth mentioning. There was nothing extraordinary. Just two short instances where I dated, had regular ol’ vanilla sex, and then we went our separate ways. Relationships in the military are hard. That’s why I never really tried to have one,” I explain.
“Yet you’re saying now that you’re in love with someone. Your best friend, you said?” He looks down at his notepad, only to find it empty. Since I shocked him so badly, he forgot to write anything down.
“Clarice,” I supply, her name instantly bringing warmth to my chest.
“Clarice.” Doc eyes me, and then he smiles.
He shakes his head. “Nothing.” Then tries to hide his grin.
“What?” I growl.
“I just never… Bri, I thought you might be gay. I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with being gay. Nothing at all. But… I thought you were gay and that you were in the closet, and that’s why you never participated at the club,” Doc says. “And as it wasn’t my place to force you to out yourself. Since it didn’t affect your ability to get your missions done nor take care of the club, I never brought it up. Little did I know, you had a… best friend. Who you love.”
I can’t help but chuckle. “Not gay. Just wrapped around one tiny little woman’s finger.”
“So why the sudden need to share?” he asks curiously.
“She’s visiting me in a few days. It’s the first time she’s ever come to me, and I want to show her my life here. Introduce her to everyone, take her to the club. And in order to do that, I knew I’d have to open up to you if I wanted to bring a guest.”
He nods. “And is she aware of your feelings for her?”
“She’d have to be blind if she wasn’t. And one thing Clarice is definitely not is stupid. But she is… closed off to them. Whenever I try to display my love for her, her walls go up. She changes the subject or laughs me off,” I explain.
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