Hell's RevengeBy: Eve Langlais
I am literally going to kill my mother.
To say I have mommy issues is putting it mildly. The woman who abandoned me has a lot of nerve to just saunter back into my life without warning and drop a bombshell of atomic proportions. I tried to kill her as way of resolving my inner Freudian issues, but my damned boyfriends stopped me. Spoilsports.
As if wanting to strangle my birth mother isn’t enough, once again, someone is messing with my life and a new player steps in to save me. Did I mention my dark knight is tall, gorgeous and fanged? Just don’t tell my lovers because apparently they’re not willing to share me with the undead.
The final showdown with the mysterious figure—also known as the major pain in my ass—fast approaches. I don’t care how powerful they are. They screwed up big time when they took something precious of mine. It’s never a good idea to piss off this Princess of Hell because revenge is my middle name.
Lucky me, I had the three most important men in my life sitting down for a nice family dinner. The irony of having Satan, my dear daddy, and the words “nice” and
“family” used together did not escape me. After some careful negotiation, I’d made sure my father would behave at this and future dinners—we’d even signed the contract in blood. With my dad, you could never exercise too much caution. Not that I needed it for this particular meal. My father currently beamed like an escaped mental patient. Kind of freaky for the uninitiated, but as his daughter, I considered it endearing. And the reason for his joy? I’d just announced David was moving in with Auric and me.
“I can’t believe it, my daughter living in sin with not one man, but two. You do a father proud,” he said, toasting the occasion. I swear he almost wiped a tear.
Auric rolled his eyes, familiar with my father’s antics, but David appeared taken aback. My father’s sense of humor took some getting used to.
Life in the week since we’d vanquished the hooded one had returned to normal, or as normal as it could get for a princess of Hell. I’d avoided, in my usual ‘head in the sand’
fashion, some of the things Gabriel told me when I captured him. My cowled nemesis, for the curious, was a fallen angel who’d delighted in torturing me. When I finally got him on his knees at the point of my sword, he began to spout all kinds of crap. I’d decapitated the freaky bastard rather than listen to his monologue. Like hello, I’d seen enough movies to know letting the enemy talk gave them time to wait for reinforcements. Besides, watching my men fight at the time made me horny and not in the mood to exercise patience.
Apart from Gabriel, who I refused to discuss, Auric kept trying to talk to me about my absent mother. As if I wanted to think about the bitch who’d abandoned me with a curse on my mind—not! Sticking my fingers in my ears and humming soon brought those attempted conversations to a halt. Poor Auric, I was really making him practice his sighs of impatience a lot lately.
Anyway, I refused to dwell on the crap I’d gone through lately and, in an attempt for a life of normalcy, I’d arranged for my dad to come for a nice family dinner—cooked by Auric, of course. Anything less would have seen me punished for cruelty.
The pasta primavera came out divine, the chicken succulent, the conversation ribald; in other words, dinner appeared a complete success.
It figured my aunt Fate would fuck with it. A knock sounded at the door and I’d like to say I heard haunting music, that my eyes rolled back and I experienced an ominous premonition. Alas, my precognitive skills were limited to the knot which formed in my stomach. I knew from a lifetime of experience that if things were going well something would come along to screw with me, which meant whoever stood on the other side of that steel reinforced barrier was about to fuck up the nice new life I’d settled into.
“Don’t answer,” I said in a childish attempt to avoid whatever calamity waited for me in the hallway.
Apparently, my worry was contagious because Auric grabbed his holy sword before he headed to the door when a second knock sounded. Auric twisted the knob and swung the door open, keeping care to ensure his bulky body remained in front of the doorway, blocking direct access inside. It also meant I couldn’t see who’d come calling.