By: Sidney Bristol

A Drug of Desire Novel

A lifetime spent working undercover for the DEA has left Matías Govea wondering, just who the hell he is? A BDSM Dominant? A son? A brother? Who is he? He'll have to assume one, last identity before he can figure out the answers, but this might be the hardest gig of all...because of her.

Raven Benally grew up in the cockpit of a plane under the watchful eye of her father and uncles. Only now the family is fractured and it's up to her to pull off one more gig before she can branch out on her own. All she has to do is fly the smoking hot federal officer to Mexico and back.

When a simple buy-bust goes south, it's up to Matías to pull off the biggest deception ever. He must not only convince a notorious Colombian drug dealer he's not a fed, but he must also pass Raven off as a sexual submissive and his lover. In the far flung reaches of the jungle, these friends-turned-lovers have only each other to rely on.

Warning: Contains a man fond of belts, a woman who didn't know she likes to be spanked, and a complicated web of emotions.


This one is for the fans. The people who have stuck with me, patiently waiting for this book. Matías is your hero. And you are mine.



Matías Govea stared out of the window at the twinkling cityscape of Washington DC. He’d already made arrangements to put the condo on the market in a few weeks. Sad to say, there wasn’t much to pack.

He felt, more than heard, the other person move into the room behind him. If it were any other human being, Matías might have already shot him. But fellow DEA agent Damien Moana was an all right guy.

“Man, we have to have a talk about your kitchen. There’s nothing in there to eat.” He dropped onto the sofa, watching Matías study him in the reflection on the glass. “How long has it been since you slept?”

“Last night.”

“More than an hour or two?” Damien’s stare weighed heavily on Matías, seeing deeper than he would like.

Truth was, Matías hadn’t been able to sleep more than an hour or two without startling awake. Almost dying would do that to a man. Nearly six months, and though the scars had healed, and he was cleared for field work, he wasn’t whole.

“You really going through with this?” Damien clearly wasn’t talking about Matías’ sleep issues.

“Yeah.” He finally turned from the window. “I haven’t seen my mother in over two years. I can’t tell you the last time I spoke to my brothers. I nearly died in Chicago, and they wouldn’t have known. It changes a man.” There was no going back to the Drug Enforcement Agency for him.

“Then why not quit? Just be done with it now. Today.” Damien and Matías were both agents, but unlike Damien, Matías was a deep-cover operative. He spent months of his life pretending to be the scum of the earth so they could get the bad guys in jail, but work like that left its mark.

He sighed and scrubbed his gritty eyes. Where did he begin?

Matías sank onto the couch and stared at the ceiling, sifting through his thoughts.

“I’ve been working this case for years. Guy’s name is Victor. No last name. Real piece of work. Moves probably five or six billion dollars of narcotics every year for the Jiménez family. The suits asked if I’d stay on long enough to do a buy bust to grab him. I can’t say no to that. Reason we haven’t busted his ass is because we kept thinking he’d lead us to the factory.” He shook his head. Victor was a sneaky, slimy son of a bitch. It would be a privilege to arrest the guy.

“Then what?” Damien asked.

“No clue. Go home? Travel?” Matías could have a life. He hadn’t had one of those in a very long time.

“Lillian’s seeing someone.”

“Huh?” Matías peered at Damien, trying to place the name.

“Shit.” Damien shook his head. “That girl was in love with you, man.”


Matías stared across the room, trying not to shudder at the memories. She was a sweet, beautiful girl, who desperately wanted to help heal him. She’d tried so hard to put him back together into the man she wanted him to be—and he couldn’t be that person.