The Revelation(9)

By: Lauren Rowe

My head is spinning. I feel like I’m gonna barf. It’s suddenly hitting me like a ton of bricks that Josh is literally one of the world’s most eligible bachelors—like literally. Holy shit. Before this moment, Josh was Sarah’s boyfriend’s brother—his gorgeous and rich brother—his hilarious and well-dressed brother—his smoking hot and sexy brother—his brother who arranged for me to stay in Vegas and keep my job, too—his brother who fucked me so brilliantly, I blacked out there for a minute—but, still, just a human-brother-dude who presumably puts his pants on one leg at a time (and who presumably stows his donkey-dick in one of those pant legs before zipping up).

But now, out of nowhere, it turns out Josh is some quasi-celebrity-god among men who lives in an alternate universe populated by world-famous actresses and their spawn? And Victoria’s Secret supermodels? Oh, and freaking Red Card Riot, too? What the heck? Who is this Most Interesting Man in the World who could hop a cross-country flight on a whim for no other reason than to attend the birthday party of a fuck-buddy who happens to be the daughter of Gabrielle LeMonde? Gah! Insanity.

My stomach flips over.

I’m usually a confident girl—probably more so than the average Jane, if I’m being honest—but how could I ever be so cocky as to think a guy like that would ever pick me out of literally anyone on the planet to choose from? I roll my eyes even though I’m sitting here alone. I’ve always had a pretty high opinion of myself, truthfully (which isn’t something I usually admit out loud), but all of a sudden, in comparison to the women who populate Josh’s rarified world, I feel shockingly average. Not to mention, quite possibly, really gullible, too. Has Josh just been selling me a line of bullshit? Does he make every girl feel special the way I’ve been feeling with him? Have I been a fool?

Oh, jeez, my eyes are filling with tears. Why do I suddenly feel like I’m standing at Garrett Bennett’s door all over again, about to get annihilated? I take a deep breath to steady myself.

The healthy choice would be to click out of Jen’s email right now. It’s making me doubt Josh and I don’t want to do that. He’s been nothing but incredible toward me. Generous. Attentive. Affectionate. Passionate. I’m acting crazy right now. So what if Jen’s mom is Gabrielle LeMonde? That doesn’t change anything. Why is that sending me into a tailspin? I should shut Josh’s laptop and stop this right now.

But I don’t.

In fact, I do the opposite: I open the second picture attached to Jen’s email.

Holy Oh-No-She-Didn’t, Batman.

If I felt sick after seeing the picture of Jen with her movie-star mom, then I feel terminally ill after seeing this second photo.

It’s a naked selfie of Jen. She’s smiling broadly and pushing her “pretty titties” up toward the camera—obviously inviting Josh to “motorboat” them “again.”

My eyes prick with tears. Is Jen a pathetically desperate girl who’s pursuing a hot guy after he’s clearly told her to get lost? Or, to the contrary, is she a girl who’s merely going after a guy who slept with her and then continued encouraging her? Josh told me he’s not interested in Jen—and yet he called her after Reed’s party. Why’d he do that? And what did he “suggest” to her when they spoke? Suddenly, I don’t know what’s what anymore.

My heart is racing. I wipe my eyes. I never cry and I’m not gonna start now. Hell no. It’s so unlike me to feel this jealous and insecure. God, I hate myself right now. I’m acting like a freak and a puss and a lunatic. I need to detach. I need to stop caring. Josh Faraday isn’t my boyfriend (though I admit I want him to be), and I’m not his girlfriend. I’ve got no right to feel this way. The man can do what he wants.