Monkey's Uncle

By: Tymber Dalton

Drunk Monkeys 2



Apocalypse, shmocalypse. When you need a world saved right, you call in…the Drunk Monkeys.

India Pelletier is a nurse at a clinic in Mexico. All she wants is to make a difference in people’s lives. When a doctor shows up to help, she thinks he was sent by the charity she works for.

Twins Oscar and Yankee are part of the elite Drunk Monkeys special ops unit. Their mission? Save the world by finding the scientists who created the deadly Kite virus. When they track a doctor to India’s clinic, they never realized they’d find more than they bargained for in the feisty, resourceful nurse.

Unfortunately, an unknown traitor still lurks in the shadows. With passion blooming between India and the brothers, will the Drunk Monkeys root out the mole before he strikes? Because India will be a monkey’s uncle before she’ll give up Oscar and Yankee…or pass up a chance to help stop Kite from destroying the world.

Genre: Futuristic, Ménage a Trois/Quatre, Science Fiction

Length: 62,680 words








Chapter One


“That damn, batshit crazy asshole fucker in charge there in Pyongyang is the one who stirred the shitpot. Then Beijing made him lick the goddamned spoon and nuked his fucking ass. Problem is, when they did that—not saying they weren’t justified, mind you—our first and best chance to reverse-engineer this clusterfuck went up in a mushroom cloud. All the rest of us could do was fucking bend over and pray for lube and a reacharound.”

—Gen. Robert K. McCammeron (Our Last History? by Willard M. Sterling. Interview date May, 2143)

“In the time since we first became aware of the virus, and the subsequent events that have followed, we’ve come to understand that we have no idea why, much less how, they [North Korea] created it. Unfortunately, when Beijing wiped Pyongyang off the map, they also wiped out any hope we had of creating an effective vaccine in a timely manner to prevent transmission to a majority of the world’s population. It’s estimated that within another five years, over ninety percent of the world’s population will either be dead or infected unless we get lucky and figure it out.”

—Dr. Arnold P. Almer, CDC (Our Last History? by Willard M. Sterling. Interview date April, 2143)

“In terms of [Kite, the drug’s] addictive nature, it makes meth look like baby aspirin.”

—Kimberly Coates, PhD, University of Florida (February, 2143)

“Well, fuck.”

—President Charlotte Kennedy’s reported reaction upon learning that China authorized the use of nuclear weapons against North Korea on July 29, 2142, in response to Pyongyang allowing thousands of people they supposedly infected with the Kite virus to flood across the border into China several days earlier.

“The Drunk Monkeys? Those crazy motherfuckers don’t exist. And boy, are they good at what they do. Thank god.”

—Gen. Joseph Arliss (June, 2143)

* * * *

Long story short…

It’s now April of 2143, approximately two weeks since we last left our globe-trotting group just arriving in Hawaii from Australia.

When you mix a determined network researcher who wants to become an on-air reporter—code name Pandora—with a military Special Operations and Tactical Infiltration Force unit determined to fulfill their orders to save the world—SOTIF1, nicknamed the Drunk Monkeys—you might be shocked to find out they’ve defied all odds thus far.

Then again, maybe you’re not shocked at all.

There are fifteen names on “The List” being circulated worldwide. Doctors, scientists, researchers—all linked to the creation of Kite the virus and Kite the drug, which—long story short—led to China going all crankypants and nuking North Korea out of existence.