How to Date a Douchebag:The Studying Hours(7)

By: Sara Ney

Eye roll. “Haven’t you heard of stranger danger?”

“I left my white kidnapping van back at the crack house, so you’re safe—for now.”

The witty comeback interests her, and she raises her head in disbelief. Sparkling eyes meet mine for the second time since I commandeered her table, assessing me the same way I studied her: with awareness, curiosity, and…


She’s amused by me, I can tell.

“You’re kind of absurd, but…funny.” She pauses. “Oz.”

“Thanks? I think.”

“Sooo…” The girl taps her pen on the corner of the desk, squints at the corner of her computer monitor, and eyes me expectantly. “We’re done here, right? It’s getting late and I don’t have a lot of time left to study.”

I clear my throat. “Just one kiss and I’ll leave you alone.”

“What part of no didn’t you get? Did your jock brain not learn that word?” Her voice is measured, slow, like maybe I don’t understand English.

“Technically you never told me no.”

She stares back at me, expressionless.

I persist. “What about a small one? Just a quick peck on the lips. No tongue.”

My joke goes without even the barest trace of a smile.

“Fine.” I laugh. “Some tongue.”

She slaps down her pen and threads her fingers together, blue eyes blazing. “Stop.”

One word.


Even I’m not dumb enough to push.

Fine, I’m going to push, but just a little. “C’mon babe. Don’t make me walk back over there with this long tail between my legs.”

At my innuendo, her keen eyes dart quickly between my legs, land on the crotch of my jeans, and widen before she catches herself doing it. If I hadn’t caught it myself, I’d think I’d imagined it.

Her lips purse.

The girl reaches up and pulls the black glasses down off her head, propping them on the bridge of her pert nose, and shoots a scornful glance across the room at my table full of teammates.

“I know how this whole thing must look, but I promise you, my intentions are honorable. We’re just trying to have a little fun, yeah? No harm in—”

“Honorable?” The pink wires are still dangling from her ears when she reaches up and removes them, dropping the earbuds onto her laptop. “A little fun? At whose expense?”

Speaking of expenses, I’m about to lose five hundred big ones to the motion of her hand rising to cut off my reply.

“Tell me this: you come over here, try to get a kiss for god-only-knows-what-reason, and I’m supposed to be flattered by your attention? Please. Who do you think you are?”

I open my mouth to tell her, but she cuts me off.


“Do you win some special status—a plaque with your name on it, perhaps? The prime parking spot at your fraternity house for the month of September?”

She wants me to be direct? Fine. “I’m not in a fraternity, but yeah, actually, I do win something. I get five hundred bucks if you kiss me, and honestly, I could really use the money.”

Now she’s leaning back in her chair, balancing herself on the legs like a dude. “Ah, so you interrupted my research to act like an asshole on some lark. For money.”

“Yeah, basically.” I shrug. “Five hundred bucks is five hundred bucks.”

We have a reckoning then, regarding each other with unconcealed interest. She does little to disguise her inspection of my body, masked expression unreadable as she starts at my boots and works her way up.

I know when her eyes hit the flat of my sculpted abs. Feel when they run idly over my shoulders and hesitate when they flicker to my spread legs, to the crotch of my jeans.

Long dark lashes coated with black mascara flutter. Flawless pale skin flushes. Her lips, I can’t help but notice, are pursed but pleasantly full.

Pretty damn cute, except I am completely unable to tell what she’s thinking.

“You have one hell of a poker face you know that?”

“Thank you.”

I lean in. “What’s your name?”

She rolls her blue eyes.

Nonchalantly, I shrug. “If you won’t tell me, I’ll have to insist on calling you Sexy Librarian.”