By: Lauren Landish

A Sexy Romantic Comedy

Chapter 1


“The guys had better get ready,” I say, twirling my hair around my finger. I’m riding shotgun down the road with my best friend, Hannah Fowler, in her beat-up Lexus sedan. The windows are rolled down, the wind blowing through the cabin and ruffling our hair as the downtown streets whiz by.

It’s been a long time since I’ve gone out, and boy, have I missed it.

But tonight I’m going to let loose, I vow. Enjoy myself for once.

“Why’s that?” Hannah asks as she speeds through a yellow light, glancing over at me. With shoulder-length blonde hair, big round cheeks, and eyes that are as blue as they are huge, she looks a lot like Amanda Seyfried, and she’s played it up a few times. Equipped with a sense of humor that almost rivals mine, she’s basically been my bestie since I struck out on my own. We’re inseparable.

I grin, flashing my notorious wink I learned from my big sister, Mindy, and boast, “’Cause I’m about to release the Rox on them!”

“Did I just hear you just say you’re gonna gobble all the cocks?” Hannah yells over the roar of the wind.

I laugh. “You know damn well that wasn’t what I said!” I got ninety-nine problems and gobbling cock won’t be one. If anything, that’s on Hannah’s menu, considering the tight black number she’s wearing that looks like it’s been painted on her frame.

Hannah giggles. “Well, it’s better than unleashing your deprived vajayjay on some poor man!”

“I can’t help it,” I say, shaking my head. “You go ten months without sex and see how you feel. Knowing you, they’d have to call the Ghostbusters because you’d have fucked half a dozen men to death.”

We share a good laugh and I smile as I let my arm hang out the window, enjoying the night breeze against my skin. We haven’t even gotten to the best part of the night and I’m already in a good mood. It’s a far cry from the sour, cantankerous pain in the ass I’ve become lately.

Don’t get me wrong—my job at Franklin Consolidated is okay and all, but it’s not my first love. The grin slowly fades from my face as I think back to three years ago. I was working the club scene and singing at Trixie’s, a local club back home, busting my ass for my big break.

It never came. There were too many rejection letters, too many times I got passed up on auditions. I almost tried out for X-Factor but got sick right before with a bad cold, so even that didn’t go as planned. Eventually, I set the microphone aside and went back to school. Mom at least had the decency to not say I told you so about my short-lived career as a singer. Instead, she gave me encouragement when I said I was moving away to finish up the degree that I’d been putting off.

I don’t really know why I moved away. My stepfather, John, has more money than my family could spend in five lifetimes and is more than happy to share it. Champagne, designer dresses, cocktail parties, and vacationing on yachts. I could’ve had it all, the total deb socialite.

But nepotism is not a life I want for myself. I want to stand on my own two feet like my sister, Mindy. Sure, she ended up marrying a super-handsome, rich stud, but she worked her ass off before that and still does.

Thinking about her, I feel guilt tighten my chest. I haven’t talked to her or anyone in my family for months. It’s partly because we all lead such busy lives, but I’d argue that Mindy’s life is perfect now. She’s got a great husband, two adorable kids, and a business of her own that she loves running.

I’m nowhere near there. And I can’t help but have this nagging feeling that even if I’m successful in my new career path, I may never get that feeling. So yeah, a night like this is just what the doctor ordered.

“Seriously, though, I need this,” I tell Hannah. “We should do this more often.”

As a gift to us both, Hannah decided to hit the grand opening of Club Jasmine, a brand new nightclub that’s being opened by a couple of rich pricks whose names I don’t know. It’s supposed to be hot and ritzy. I just want to get to the hot part.

Hannah nods. “I know, honey. You’ve been working hard for what? Ten months? And already getting a promotion. You need to reward yourself.” She shakes her head. “I’ve been worried about you.”