A Broken Forever(8)By: Megan Noelle
“Greyson, our sweet Allie isn’t with us anymore. She—” she stopped to clear her throat. “She is home with our Lord.”
I stared at her unblinking. “What?” I whispered out for clarification.
My mother’s face scrunched with sorrow but finally, she said it. “Allie didn’t make it, Greyson; she died before they got her to the hospital.”
Those words. They brushed over my face but didn’t sink in. It wasn’t possible. I wouldn’t believe it. I was okay, Stefan was too, so why would she be gone?
I felt my head shaking from side to side as I looked around to the other members of my family.
“Where is she?” I asked frantically.
My father walked up to the other side of my bed and squeezed my upper arm. “No!” I yelled, trying with pointless effort to pull my broken arm away from him.
“Grey…” The doctor whispered in a soothing tone that did nothing to settle the pain and agitation in my heart.
None of what these people were saying mattered. There was only one I would believe, but when I looked to Stefan for the first time—I became terrified. Very slowly he had backed away from me. A hand cupped over his mouth as his eyes were glassy from the encroaching tears.
No…this wasn’t true. It wasn’t real. My eyes squeezed shut, willing myself to awaken from this horrifying nightmare. When I opened my eyes there was no change.
“She’s not.” The tears were forcing my voice to fluctuate.
He blinked one slow blink before connecting our eyes. “She’s gone.”
My stomach dropped and my heart broke in such a literal sense I wondered if I would ever recover. I needed to see her; that was my baby. My sweet little love. My angel on Earth, but she was mine. It wasn’t time for her to leave yet, why would He take her away?
My left hand covered my mouth as I continued shaking my head. The word ‘no’ coming out repeatedly, but nothing changed. I cried out, but nothing anyone was doing was going to make this better. I just wanted her.
The soft undeniable sound of Stefan’s voice broke through the cries. “I’m so sorry.” It hurt to think it, but sorry wasn’t enough to fix this.
My Allie was gone.
I shot up, my heart beat rapidly against my chest as beads of sweat accumulated under my mass of thick hair. Tears streamed down my cheeks as my body heaved up and down. I quickly looked around the room and relief flooded me as I recognized my bedroom. It wasn’t the hospital bed I was waking up in; I wasn’t reliving one of the worst moments of my life. Even better, I knew there was liquor in the other room. I wiped away the endless trails of tears with the sleeve of my robe and flipped my legs out of bed.
This was ridiculous. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could stand thinking things like this. The past was in the past. Things weren’t meant to be with me and Stefan and Allie…my sweet Allie…but she was in a better place. I stumbled my way into the kitchen, hardly trusting the rubbery feeling in my legs. My hands grasped the countertop, and I pulled air into my lungs as quickly as I could. This had to stop.
Flashbacks, dreams, memories, it was all just too damn much. In another life I had to have been a complete monster to be tortured in this way. Once I felt I had my breathing under control, I glanced to the clock above the oven. It was just after three in the morning, meaning it was far too early to be up for the day, but I knew there was no way I could just go back to sleep.
I slid down along the cupboards and reached into Richard’s built-in wine fridge. He liked saving these bottles for either a special dinner or when we hosted a party, but right now—they had another purpose. It was time to forget the past and let go of the hurt. Stefan represented all that I used to be, but Richard was now everything I am.
That didn’t stop my subconscious from holding onto to an unchangeably devastating past.
“Good morning, ladies!” I sang out as I walked through the doors of Bella Donna. My plan of action today was to have an overabundance of pep; then maybe no one would know I spent my night in tears. That plan failed from just about the second I got there. Kacie peered over her shoulder to greet me and jumped back a step.