A Broken Forever(6)

By: Megan Noelle

How on Earth had I been so lucky? It didn’t matter that we were young, because I felt it in my soul—Stefan Harrison was the man I was made for. Our hearts were pieces of a puzzle, and no one else could fit together the way we did.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked, daring to break the silence.

Stefan gave a contented sigh before opening his eyes to gaze lovingly at me. “Just thinking how perfect this moment is. How incredibly perfect you are.” I smiled up at him. “I don’t deserve you Grey, but I’ll never stop proving to you that you are everything to me.”

My hand clutched onto my heart as his beautiful words sank in. “Oh, Stefan…”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Greyson Rose. I could never imagine waking up each morning without you next to me.”

I sat up and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. A smile formed over my lips as I stared into his stoically stunning face.

“Well, how about you just never leave, and then you will never have to wake up a single day away from me.”

Stefan smiled back and pressed his forehead down to mine.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby.”

Fresh tears rolled from my eyes and stained the back of Richard’s shirt.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby,” I whispered much too low for Richard’s ears, while my arms squeezed him even tighter.

The rest of the evening before Richard left for his shift at the hospital was torture. I spent it trying to not look like I was on the verge of tears. I knew Richard’s worry would sky rocket if he thought something was wrong. Especially if he would be spending the next thirty hours out saving lives. That left me altering between either babbling ceaselessly about nothing or sitting in my favorite chair, staring out the window. It was difficult to say which one worried him more. I promised myself that I would make it up to him later. Then just when I thought I couldn’t feel any worse about myself, Richard drew me a bath. Candles, a glass of wine, bubbles and a stack of my bridal magazines that I had accumulated over the past few months.

It was awful because it wasn’t; he deserved a piece of the knowledge that was swimming around in my head, but I just couldn’t let it out. As Richard kissed me goodbye, I could sense all my attempts to not worry him had backfired. After assuring me he would call and message as often as he could, I had a good, chest-heaving meltdown. My soothing bath was spent with my face buried in my hands.

I hated memories and absolutely everything involved with the past. Well, okay, maybe that was just a little strong. I didn’t hate it, but I hated the way memories made me miss it.

The realization crushed me. My heart twisted and I felt ready to hurl. Vigorous sobs shook my entire body as I felt the void that I thought was successfully closed up, open once again. It was as if someone sliced open my chest and left everything spilling out. I felt aware and frightened, and not to mention…empty. It was a feeling I had completely forgotten about, now that emptiness was seeping into every inch of my body. It flowed through my bloodstream, filled my lungs and covered my heart; I didn’t know if I could make this feeling stop.

I rinsed the soap bubbles off, blew out the candles, slipped into my room and crashed on my bed. Richard and I always had strict sides of the bed, but today I had to cross the line; burying my face in his pillow and clutching mine to my chest, with attempts to soothe the ache. It took all my remaining strength not to call Richard and have him come home. Every time I got close to caving I reminded myself that it wasn’t his touch, smell and warmth that I longed to have. It was that of a man I promised to forget, even though my heart didn’t seem to want to let him go.

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed between the deep belly cries and the moment when I finally fell asleep.

My eyes fluttered open and everything hurt. My mind was disoriented, my mouth was dry and my body felt heavy. I let my eyes case the room noticing the single bouquet of flowers, the beeping machine next to me and the tubes attached to my arms. I didn’t know how I got here or why for that matter, but a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach told me I didn’t want to know. My attention flickered to the door where the face of my brother came into view. A smile touched his lips, but it didn’t push away the worry lines between his eyes.

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